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Campaign – Chapter 5

Posted in erbooker by erbooker on 06/03/2016

Campaign

Campaign manager Katrina “Kate” Kindling is striving against all odds to get Senator Marcia Brute into the White House.

Chapter Five – Flowers

Katrina Kindling is sitting behind her desk in the Brute for President campaign offices on K Street in DC when a volunteer staffer drops a gigantic floral bouquet in front of her.

“These flowers were left at the front desk, Ms. Kindling.”

Kate frowns and opens the card reading “For my dearest. Love, Alfie.”

Kate clutches her ex-husband’s note to her chest, shuts her eyes and smiles, whispering, “That pussy actually thinks he can win me back.”


Next door at the Flowers ’16 campaign offices, Alf Luntz enters his glorified cubicle to find Emily Foxxx sitting in his seat, her long legs kicked up on a stack of poll results.

Alf grins. “Get anything interesting in the mail today?”

Emily shakes her head, not looking up from her phone. “Just a letter from Publisher’s Clearing House. I didn’t even know that was still a thing.”

Alf nervously glances around the office for a towering floral bouquet, muttering worriedly, “Neither did I.”


“Katrina.”

Sen. Marcia Brute swaggers into Brute HQ and staffers rise to meet her. A scruffy older man in overalls and a “Git Er Done” mesh trucker hat follows the Senator.

“Katrina, this is Bruce Bert. He’s a plumber from Smackover, Arkansas.”

Bruce removes his cap and holds out a meaty palm. “Pleasure to meet ya, Ms. Kindlin’.”

“Smackover,” Kate turns to the Senator. “So you two grew up together?”

“We attended Smackover High. Go Grand Wizards!”

“Hell yeah!” Bruce barks.

Kate frowns. “Did you say Grand Wiz–“

“I’m bringing Bruce on as our Everyman Advisor. He’s gonna tell us what Joe Q. Public is thinking.”

“That’s me,” Bruce grins cheesily. “Just a big ol simpleton.”

“Oh, Bruce. Stop.” The Senator places a hand on Bruce’s chest and he stares at her wedding band longingly.


Back in her office, Kate dials her ex-husband.

“Luntz, you putz.”

“What I do?” Alf responds.

“You bought me flowers on our divorce anniversary.”

“No I didn’–oh shit.”

“You want me back.”

“No I don’t!”

“You loooove me.”

“You take that back, you sonuvabitch.”

“You’re getting soft, Alfie. Just tell Flowers to concede now and save you both the heartache.”

Kate hangs up. Alf scowls and then smiles down at his phone.


Kate joins Bruce on the back loading dock of the building Brute HQ has taken up offices in and he hands her a cigarette.

“So you and the Senator go way back, huh?”

“Yup,” Bruce says, spitting out some leaves from his self-rolled cigarette. “And I’m gonna win her back.”

Kate mutters under her breath, “Oh, Jesus Christ.”


Send all hate mail to ethanrbooker@gmail.com

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