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Commissioner Roger Goodell’s Gambling Is Illegal – Week 13

Posted in erbooker by erbooker on 12/03/2015

Roger Goodell

NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell would like to remind you that gambling is illegal.

Week Thirteen

Commissioner Roger Goodell acknowledges that we live in dangerous times. Which is why Commissioner Roger Goodell is enacting stricter security measures across the National Football League. Every football fan attending an NFL match will be required to a carry a gun upon entry into the stadium. If a nefarious ne’erdowell is planning to perpetrate a dastardly deed, they will be faced with the awesome firepower of the entire NFL fanbase. Everyone in every stadium will be armed to the teeth. Fans. Hot dog vendors. Players. Coaches. Wacky mascots. Refs. Well, maybe not the refs.

Even fans viewing from home on NFL Red Zone or NFL Sunday Ticket will be required to hold a gun up to the television screen for the duration of the football scrum. Any football fan not holding a strong powerful beautiful gun in their hands every Sunday from here forward will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.

Football: The guns of sports.


Packers (-3) over Lions

Giants (+1) over Jets

Cardinals (-7) over Rams

Falcons (+1) over Buccaneers

Seahawks (E) over Vikings

Bills (-3) over Texans

Dolphins (-4) over Ravens

Bengals (-10.5) over Browns

Jaguars (+2.5) over Titans

Bears (-7.5) over 49ers

Broncos (-4) over Chargers

Chiefs (-2.5) over Raiders

Panthers (-7.5) over Saints

Patriots (-11) over Eagles

Colts (E) over Steelers

Washington (-4.5) over Cowboys

Last Week: 8-8

Best Week: 10-4 (Week 7)

Season: 82-86-8 (.489)

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