The Continued Adventures of Superheroman & Sidekickboy – Chapter 6
By day, they are merely mild-mannered Orenthal James Coleman & Donald Cherry. By night (and sometimes day as well), they become Superheroman & Sidekickboy.
Chapter Six – The Case of the Exploding City
“This city has a sickness,” Superheroman mutters, standing at a precipice looking out over the emaciated radioactive fields that were once Iron City. “And I’m the cure.”
Twelve hours earlier, Supervillainman, Sidekickboy and the Crazy Eights are meeting drug kingpin El Chavo on the Iron City docks.
“Alright, old-timer. Are we doing this thing? Where’s your explosives expert?”
“He has already come and gone,” El Chavo responds. “Every building in the city is wired to explode. And you hold the key.”
El Chavo hands Supervillainman an explosives trigger, a small handheld device with a switch.
Supervillainman stares at the diminutive device in his hand. “It’s so, uh, light. Heh.”
El Chavo boards a small tugboat and turns back to the villainous squadron. “I must return to El Salvador and retake my rightful reign on the throne.”
“B-but I thought you were going to stay behind and rebuild.”
“This was never about rebuilding,” El Chavo grins as the tugboat toots adorably. “This was always about destruction. This city turned you into the villain you now are. It’s time to show this city the supervillain you can truly be.”
“Well, the man’s got a point.”
Supervillainman goes to flip the switch before Sidekickboy grabs his arm.
“Whoa, let’s think this through, Orenthal. Or at least get out of the city first.”
“Wiser than your age as always, my trusty troubadour.”
Supervillainman and Sidekickboy are standing on Ruttiger’s Cliff, a craggy mountainside bluff overlooking the city.
Sidekickboy discreetly texts Det. Jessie Ventura. “Let’s at least evacuate the city first, Superhero–“
“And what would be the point of evacuation, my lusty liege.”
“Destroying the city is a symbolic gesture. It’s not about mass murder. You’re not a murderer.”
“Well, I am a supervillain. The two would seem to go hand in hand.”
“That’s it.” Sidekickboy tears off his ski mask and tosses it to the ground as Supervillainman gasps.
“Sidekickboy, your disguise! Your secret identity will be revealed!”
“I’m not playing these games with you anymore. It was fun when we were just dressing up and running around the city saving nice old ladies’ stolen pocketbooks.”
Supervillainman nods. “And stealing the pocketbooks of evil old ladies.”
“But now you’re talking about blowing up a city and killing tens of thousands?”
“I’m not Sidekickboy anymore. I’m Donald Cherry and I’m turning myself in. At least I’m man enough to face up to my mistakes.”
Donald storms off back down the hill and Supervillainman calls after him. “Lil Donnie, wait!”
“Don’t call me that!”
An hour later, Supervillainman is staring out at the city, knees tucked under his arms, holding the explosives trigger when his phone rings.
“Orenthal, it’s Det. Ventura.”
“Ah, Detective. I was awaiting your call.”
“No you weren’t.”
“No, I wasn’t.”
“I’ve got your boy Cherry here in custody. He told me everything.”
“That rascal. Say hello to him for me.”
“Orenthal, this isn’t you. You’re not a murderer, Orenthal.”
“What about your friend, Donald. What about your job at All of Oil Olive Oil Inc. What about that date we were going to have. You’re really willing to blow all that up?”
“You’re finally willing to go on a date with me?”
“Well, I don’t know my exact weekend plans as of yet, but–“
“Really?!” Donald screams from his shackles.
“Fine, one date. Dinner. No touching.”
“Kiss at the end?”
“Well boy howdy, you got yourself a deal, Detective. And tell Donnie I’m sorry I disappointed him. Maybe he can come along on the date.”
“Yeah fine whatever.”
Superheroman happily flips the switch on his cellphone to off before quickly realizing cellphones don’t have switches. He looks down at the explosives trigger and then up at a rising mushroom cloud and gulps.
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