The Continued Adventures of Superheroman & Sidekickboy – Chapter 5
By day, they are merely mild-mannered Orenthal James Coleman & Donald Cherry. By night (and sometimes day as well), they become Superheroman & Sidekickboy.
Chapter Five – The Case of the Brand-New Villains
Supervillainman and Sidekickboy are hiding in their evil villain lair, an abandoned warehouse on the outskirts of Iron City. The Crazy Eights, their group of clinically insane henchmen are seated at a nearby table playing cards.
“I don’t know if I can be a villain, Superheroman–“
“I don’t think I have the mental makeup to be evil. I’m too congenial.”
“What’s that, like syphilis? You got the syph?”
“It means I’m polite.”
“Well I didn’t set out to become a criminal mastermind, Sidekickboy. I originally donned my cape in order to protect this city. But the powers that be drove me to this. And now there’s no turning back.”
“Well, what do you know about being a villain?”
“Not much, I’ve always been pretty congenital too.”
“But I know a guy who can help.”
“We blow up Iron City.”
“Pardon?” Sidekickboy questions El Chavo, the Salvadorean drug kingpin as he sips espresso at an Iron City cafe, the former heroes surrounded by the Crazy Eights.
“We blow it all up. This city is nothing to me. It has worn out its welcome. We blow it up and start over from scratch. Build our own city. Where there are no laws, no rules. Call it Crime City, or Evil Town, or something.”
Supervillainman nods, “Supervillainmanville. I like the sound of that.”
“That’s not what I sai–“
“Supervillainmanville,” Supervillainman repeats louder, drowning out the old drug kingpin.
“Wouldn’t a town consisting entirely of criminals committing crimes against each other defeat the very point and purpose of crime?” Sidekickboy asks.
Supervillainman & El Chavo glance at each other and roll their eyes.
“Where would one go about getting enough explosives to blow up an entire city?” Supervillainman posits.
El Chavo pats the new supervillain’s hand. “You boys helped break me out of prison. So I’m gonna help you out. I’ve got a guy.”
The Salvadorean gets up to leave and the newly-villainised ex-heroes stare at each other.
“So we’re really doing this,” Sidekickboy stammers tentatively.
“I couldn’t protect this city,” Supervillainman narrows his eyes. “Maybe I can protect the next one.”
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