Totally Radical Sportz!

Commissioner Roger Goodell’s Gambling Is Illegal – Week 3

Posted in erbooker by erbooker on 09/24/2015

Roger Goodell

NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell would like to remind you that gambling is illegal.

Week Three

If you watched the professional football game between the Buffalo Bills and the bastard cheating New England Patriots on Sunday, you may have seen the image of an ambulance driving the entire length of the football field. Commissioner Roger Goodell would like to let you, the football fan, know that there is no concussion or severe injury problem to worry about in the National Football League. Recent studies that claim up to 90% of retired football players suffer from so-called CTE (a made-up disease as believable as chem-trails and lizard people, of which I am certainly not one) are complete and utter baloney (forgive my language). Do not believe the media. Unless it is professional football-controlled media. Football is a safe sport. They wear helmets. Every professional football player is healthy. Even the injured athletes are in peak physical condition. Commissioner Roger Goodell doesn’t see anyone wearing helmets in basketball. Commissioner Roger Goodell doesn’t see anyone wearing helmets in baseball.

(Aide whispers in the Commissioner’s ear.)

Well, not all the time.

The National Football League will not let this vast left-wing conspiracy hurt our sacred sport. Our sacred shield. Commissioner Goodell still encourages young children to get out there and bang their heads together in a good-natured game of football. A hearty four quarters of pigskin. Autumn is here. A time of change. A change in the leaves. A change in seasons. And, Commissioner Goodell hopes, a change in minds. Not the severe change of mind of a neurological disorder, but more of a changing of opinion.

Football good.

Excelsior.

Giants (-3.5) over Washington

Falcons (E) over Cowboys

Titans (+3) over Colts

Raiders (+3) over Browns

Ravens (-2.5) over Bengals

Jaguars (+14.5) over Patriots

Panthers (-3) over Saints

Eagles (+2.5) over Jets

Texans (-7) over Buccaneers

Chargers (+1) over Vikings

Steelers (E) over Rams

Cardinals (-7) over 49ers

Dolphins (-2.5) over Bills

Bears (+15.5) over Seahawks

Lions (+3) over Broncos

Packers (-7.5) over Chiefs


Last Week: 9-7

Season: 13-18-1 (.422)


Send all hate mail to ethanrbooker@gmail.com

Advertisements

Comments Off on Commissioner Roger Goodell’s Gambling Is Illegal – Week 3

%d bloggers like this: