The Continued Adventures of Superheroman & Sidekickboy – Chapter 4
By day, mild-mannered Orenthal James Coleman & Donald Cherry work for an olive oil company. By night (and sometimes day as well), they become Superheroman & Sidekickboy.
Chapter Four – The Case of the Backup Plan
Orenthal James Coleman, aka Superheroman, looks out the large bay windows in the main meeting room of the Iron City Sanatorium.
“We’ll be safe hiding out here until this all blows over, Lil Donnie.”
Donald Cherry, aka Sidekickboy, being repeatedly kicked in the shins by a fellow patient, shakes his head. “This isn’t going to ‘blow over’, Orenthal. We broke out of prison. We’re wanted criminals.”
“Then we shall get in contact with Det. Ventura and clear our name.”
“There’s nothing to clear! We’re guilty of everything they’ve accused us of. We assisted in the biggest bank robbery this city’s ever seen. We helped break a Salvadorean drug kingpin out of prison. Maybe we’re just not cut out for this superhero thi–“
Donald is silenced by a powerful slap as OJ glares at him. “Don’t you ever say that. We are superheroes. And we will save this city from its rotten core. Or die trying.”
The head nurse enters the meeting room and announces, “Time for your medicine.”
“Oh boy!” OJ claps his hands excitedly. “Pill time!”
Det. Jessie Ventura is driving FBI Agents Ricky Faulk & Harry Schette out of Iron City and toward the Sanatorium on the outskirts of town.
“Who told you the suspects were hiding in the Sanatorium?” Agent Faulk asks.
“An anonymous source,” Det. Ventura responds, glancing down at a text message on her phone from OJ which reads “At Loony Bin! Would love to clear name and then possible date? 😉” “I really don’t see why the FBI has to get involved. I’ve handled these two in the past and I can handle them now.”
“These men instigated a massive bank robbery and a prison escape,” Agent Schette replies. “They’re dangerous.”
“They’re harmless,” Det. Ventura counters.
“Harm–look. Just…let me do the talking.”
“I texted Jessie, she should be here any minute.”
“You texted the police,” Donald says incredulously, between shin kicks from his new friend. “The same police that are hunting us for a myriad of crimes. And since when are you calling Det. Ventura ‘Jessie’?”
“You know, I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said earlier. About us not being good at being superheroes?”
“Look Orenthal, I’m sorry. I’m just tired and–“
“Which is why I’ve initiated a backup plan. A Plan B, if you will. Did you know Petey over there is in here for technological crimes?”
Donald glances at an old man seated at a far table, fiddling with a circuit board. “What do you mean ‘Plan B’?”
“Cherry and Coleman. You’re under arrest.” Agent Faulk approaches the heroic duo, holding up an FBI badge.
“The Feds? Jessie, what is the meaning of this?”
Det. Ventura gets in between the heroes and Agents Faulk & Schette. “It’s Det. Ventura, Coleman. And I thought I said I would do the talking, Agent.”
“I thought you were willing to listen to reason, but I see I was wrong.”
“Orenthal, in the past you guys were just a harmless distraction. Just some silly guys in their underwear and ski masks dancing and doing spin kicks near crime scenes. But these charges against you are serious.”
“I see I have no choice then,” OJ laments, raising his chin at the federal agents.
“No you don’t, Orenthal,” Det. Ventura reluctantly responds.
OJ nods at Petey, who flips a switch on his circuit board and the lights go out.
“What the hell is going on here!” Agent Schette exclaims.
“That sound you hear, gentlemen, is the opening of the basement cell doors to the most dangerously insane criminals Iron City has ever locked away. I’ve managed to befriend them while delivering their meals in the evenings here. It’s good to have a job in a place like this.”
“Orenthal, what is this,” Det. Ventura asks, her voice quivering.
“Yeah OJ, what did you do?” Donald pleads.
“My name isn’t Orenthal anymore.”
Donald sighs and rolls his eyes. “Superheroman, what did you do?”
Superheroman rips off his Sanatorium gown to reveal his superhero uniform underneath. He billows his cape and Donald sees the ‘H’ in the SHM on his chest has been stenciled over with a ‘V’.
Before Donald can finish, a swarm of eight brawny, crazed men surround Superheroman & Sidekickboy.
“From this day forward, I shall be known as Supervillainman. Sidekickboy will remain Sidekickboy. And this is my army, the Crazy Eights.” Supervillainman bows grandly. “Until we meet again, Detective.”
In a flash, the new villains are out the window and across the lawn, back toward Iron City. Det. Ventura looks on, helpless. Agents Faulk & Schette join her at the open window, as the rain splashes in.
“At least we’ll get overtime,” Agent Schette reasons.
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