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Here’s Dick – Chapter 12

Posted in erbooker by erbooker on 06/09/2015

Here's Dick

Richard Pennisman is locked up for selling the secret Coca-Cola recipe to North Korean rocket scientists. But Richard Pennisman doesn’t plan on staying locked up for long.

Chapter Twelve – The Return

Guard Harry Schette is driving the Macon State Prison van back through Georgia with fellow guard Ricky Faulk in the passenger seat and inmates Dick Pennisman, Enos Pennisman, Chit Hayes, Johnnie Maraschino & Bumps Blackwell seated in silence in the back, all men covered in dirt and blood.

“Hell of a shootout,” Bumps mutters, breaking the quiet. The others nod.

Dick frowns. “How are we going to explain a Mexican desert runway full of dead FBI agents, mobsters, American prisoners and North Koreans.”

Johnnie Maraschino scoffs. “It’s Mexico. The Federalis will sprinkle some coke at the scene and call it a drug deal gone wrong. Thanks for saving me by the way.”

Bumps holds up a shackled hand. “No problem.”

Harry glances at Dick in the rear-view mirror. “Did you really steal the Coca-Cola secret formula?”

“Well, it turned out to be a fake,” Dick qualifies.

Harry looks disgusted. “Still.”

Ricky turns around in his seat. “You’re a Georgian, man. What’s wrong with you, you sick bastard.”

Bumps edges away from Dick in the middle seat. “Jesus, all I did was kill a guy.”

Chit gives Dick a “told you so” look.


As the van pulls back into the prison loading dock, the guards and prisoners see Warden Amanda Wu being led away in handcuffs. The Assistant District Attorney pokes her head in the van.

“Harry Schette?”

Harry nods.

“Congratulations, you’re the new warden.”

“What happened to Wu?” Dick asks.

“Poisoned Asia,” Bumps replies.

Harry raises his nose. “For my first act as warden, I’m shortening guard’s lunch breaks to a half hour.”

Ricky scowls. “Dude, what the hell.”

“Sorry, Rick. I run a tight ship.”

The ADA runs up to the guards again as they’re unloading their prisoners. “Sorry, I got the wrong guard. Richard Faulk, you’re the new warden.”

Ricky grins at Harry who meekly asks, “Remember from before when you were still a guard and wanted longer lunch breaks?”


Dick enters the visitation room and is greeted by FBI Agent Jessie Gif. “Richard Pennisman?”

“Oh thank god, somebody finally got my name right.”

“If you’ll come with me, I’m escorting you out of prison.”

Dick’s eyes well with tears. “I’m free? I mean, I always knew this day would come. I didn’t really do anything, if you think about it. Gave a faulty recipe to some poor cooks essentially. I don’t know how much you heard about that thing down in Mexic–“

“In order to avoid an international incident, we’re sending you to Pyongyang to stand trial on criminal charges of nuclear terrorism. If you’d like to go back to your cell and collect your things, we can leave.”

“–o.”


Dick enters his cell, the hole in the floor freshly-cemented over. Chit Hayes is reading a Game of Thrones book he borrowed from one of the guards on the top bunk. Dick’s brother Enos is sitting on Dick’s bottom bunk, uneasily twiddling his thumbs.

“So, what do we do here all day?”

Dick claps his hands, a distant madness in his eyes. “So I’ve come up with a new escape plan..”


Send all hate mail to ethanrbooker@gmail.com

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