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Space Madness – Chapter 1

Posted in erbooker by erbooker on 01/20/2015

Space Madness

Chapter One – You Make Me Feel So Young

Ever since I was a little girl all I ever wanted to be was an astronaut. I’m sure that’s true of a lot of kids, but I actually went and did it.

Then life happens.

And one day you’re in a diaper on speed, racing across country in your old beat-up Toyota to kill your astronaut boyfriend for sleeping with another astronaut.

Doctors called it a “mental break”, a “fugue state”. Press called me “Astro Girl”, “The Lunar Loony”. People on the street hollered “Diaper Lady”.

My ex filed a restraining order, which meant I couldn’t work in the same building as him, which meant I lost my job.

But after seven years on an oil rig in the Gulf of Mexico out of the public eye, I got that itch again. I need to get back up there. So that’s why I’m in this get-up, disguising myself as a man so I can sneak into Johnson Space Center and convince Tony to drop the restraining order. I want my life back.

“Well, I think you look very handsome,” a dear old lady pets Nancy Line’s knee as Nancy adjusts her fake mustache.

The bus pulls up outside Johnson Space Center, Nancy straightens her tie, winks at the old lady and gets off.

After many false alarms and confused grabbed astronauts, Nancy finally snares a man’s arm and a thickly-bearded Tony Graziano turns around with a start.


“Shit, it’s that obvious? You grew a beard.”

“You…grew a mustache. Nancy, you can’t be here.”

“That’s why I am here, Tony. I want you to drop the restraining order. I’m fine now. I wanna get back to work.”

“You’re not on speed again, are you?”

“Tony, I’m finally clear. In mind, body and soul.”

Tony puts his hands on his hips. “Are you a Scientologist?”

“Tony, please.”

“Okay, just…wait here. I’ll go talk to Josef.”

Nancy sat down on a bench with a grin and ripped off her mustache. Josef Morrow was Nancy’s old boss. He’d know what to do.

And then the armed guards stormed down the hall.

“You’re having me arrested, you fucking piece of shit?!”

Nancy was being restrained by three NASA security guards, while Tony stood behind Josef Morrow in Josef’s office with his hands up. “Nancy, please. You’re not well.”

“I’ll show you not well, motherf–“

“No one is being arrested.”

Nancy and Tony both turn to Josef and in unison say “What?”

“Nancy Line, it was fate that brought you here today. The agency is embarking on an exciting new endeavor and we’d like you to help us.”

“Her?!” Tony squeaks incredulously.

Nancy relaxes and the guards stand down. “Yes, I’ll do anything. Please.”

Josef smiles. “I was hoping you’d say that. Nobody can know the truth behind this mission. You don’t trust the press and if you did talk nobody would ever believe you, which makes you the perfect candidate.”

“Um…thank you?” Nancy takes a seat and loosens her tie. “So what’s the mission, boss.”

Josef leans forward in a hushed excited whisper, “We’re going to fake a moon landing.”

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