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Subconsciously – Chapter 11

Posted in erbooker by erbooker on 07/01/2014


American Lee Cohn lies her way through England in order to acquire a football team endorsement for e-Pocalypse energy supplement e-cigarettes.

Chapter 11 – You Go To My Head

AGENT FREDDIE COOTS: Mr. ..Notchizedes, is it?

NACHO:  You can call me Nacho.

FREDDIE:  I most certainly will not. Mr. Notchizedes, do you know why we detained you?

NACHO:  I imagine it is some sort of honest mistake.

FREDDIE:  Mr. Notchizedes, you are on an Interpol watchlist.

NACHO:  Like I said, an honest mistake.

AGENT LAMONT GILLESPIE:  What the hell are you doin’ in our country?!

(The obviously-intoxicated Heathrow airport security agent knocks over his coffee cup and it spills all over the table of the airport’s interrogation room and onto Nacho’s lap..)

FREDDIE:  If you’ll excuse me for a moment, Mr. Notchizedes, I must speak with my partner.

NACHO:  (holds up shackled hands)  Take all the time you need, detective.

FREDDIE:  Oh, I’m not a detective. I’m just airport security.

NACHO:  Well I believe you have a great future in criminal investigation.

FREDDIE:  Oh, well..thank you very much.

(Freddie grabs Lamont by the elbow and drags him into the hallway..)

FREDDIE:  What the hell are you doin’ in there, Lamont?

LAMONT:  *hic* Playin’ good cop, brad cop.

FREDDIE:  ‘Brad cop’?

LAMONT:  Bab cop.

FREDDIE:  Pull yourself together, man. This could be the case that gets us into MI6.

LAMONT:  *hic* Bad pop.

FREDDIE:  (sighs)

(Marco & Nellie Turano make it through airport security and are sitting down for an evening tea with Lee Cohn & Bread Wellesley in the den of Judy Wellesley’s Bumfordshire home..)

NELLIE:  Lee, you look well.

LEE:  Thanks, boss. How’s the family?

NELLIE:  Being monitored by henchmen of a Mexican drug lord.

LEE:  Ah.

NELLIE:  So, how do we do this..drug deal. This is a drug deal, right?

LEE:  Well, you’re the one who turned us into drug dealers.

NELLIE:  Let’s not start this now, Lee.

MARCO:  There will be no deals as long as my father’s brother–

NELLIE:  Your uncle.

MARCO:  –is being held by the police.

NELLIE:  Oh, it’s just airport security. They’re not real police.

BREAD:  I may know a way around Heathrow security.

MARCO:  This coffee is no good.

NELLIE:  That’s tea, Marco.

(Back in the Heathrow interrogation room..)

FREDDIE:  What business do you have in London, Mr. Notchizedes?

NACHO:  (grins)  No business, only pleasure.

LAMONT:  Treasure? What treasure do you have in London, Mr. Nagasaki?

FREDDIE: Please, Lamont. Are you drinking your coffee.

LAMONT:  I am, I am. I just *hic* Irished it up a lil.

FREDDIE:  Oh for god’s sakes.

NACHO:  Can I have a sip?

LAMONT:  Sure, lemme jus–

FREDDIE:  No, you cannot have a si–

(The interrogation room’s door bursts open and Patrick McConnelly, head of Heathrow security, motions Agent Coots over..)

MCCONNELLY:  We’ve gotta let him go, Fred.

FREDDIE:  Let him go? Patrick, I was just getting to the bottom of–

MCCONNELLY:  He’s been bailed out.

FREDDIE:  Bailed out? How can he be bailed out, he hasn’t even been charged with anything yet.

(Patrick McConnelly motions down the hall and Freddie peers out to see Rebecca Percy clutching her purse and Quentin Percy staring at his watch..)

FREDDIE:  Patrick, Rebecca Percy? You can’t be serious.

MCCONNELLY:  You know the rules, Freddie.

(Freddie turns back into the interrogation room, resignedly..)

FREDDIE:  Mr. Notchizedes, you’re free to g–

(Lamont is sloppily spilling Irish coffee down Nacho’s chest as the drug lord tries to take a sip..)

LAMONT:  (looks up at his disappointed partner)  He asked so *hic* nicely.

(In an armored Humvee hurtling through dark London streets, Rebecca Percy glances back at the once-shackled, now-bound Mexican drug lord as her son steers..)

NACHO:  Are you taking me to my men, miss..?

REBECCA:  Percy. And in a manner of speaking, yes.

(The mother and son share a smile and Nacho gulps loudly..)

NACHO:  You know you’re driving on the wrong side of the road.

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