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Dust Bowl – Chapter 4

Posted in erbooker by erbooker on 01/24/2014

dustbowl

The great Dust Bowl of the 1930′s strikes and Oklahoman Woody Loggins and his Mexican friend Pepe pack up shop and head West.

Chapter 4 – Vigilante Man

Max:  (between coughing fits)  This is great. Just great! This moron crashes my car and now we’re stuck in the middle of nowhere and I’m dying of Dust Bowl Fever!

Rose:  Maxwell, relax. We’re going to find help.

Max:  I never should’ve trusted that idiot with my property.

Rose:  At least we all got out in one piece.

(Woody Loggins, his confidante Pepe and the engaged-to-be-married Max Eisenberg and Rose Nightengale are walking away from the wreckage of Max’s brand-new Ford through a meadow in rural New Mexico…)

Pepe:  What made you swerve off the road, Mr. Loggins?

Woody:  I saw her, Pepe.

Pepe:  Saw who, Mr. Loggins?

Woody:  My mother. She was standing in the middle of the road.

Pepe:  Ay dios mio, is happening again. The Huntington’s.

Woody:  I’m fine, Pepe.

Pepe:  We have to go back home. Ms. Diana will know what to do.

Woody:  I’m fine, Pepe. There’s nothing for us back home. We have to keep moving forward.

(The foursome enter the small town they had been driving towards to find medicine for the ailing Max…)

Woody:  See? We’re here. Now let’s find a doctor.

(A small buck-toothed boy on the front stoop of a shanty strums his banjo while smiling a toothy grin, as vultures circle overhead…)

Woody:  …before we get murdered.

~~~

(On a train racing cross-country, President Herbert Hoover is meeting with his reelection campaign staff…)

Hoover:  And the Jews! We have to do something about the Jews!

(Hoover’s Chief of Staff Reginald Thorngood drags the President into the next train car…)

Thorngood:  (to the staff, while exiting the train car)  Haha, the President was just joking!

Hoover:  No, I wasn’t. What are you–

Thorngood:  Mr. President, I’ve just received the latest polls. FDR is beating you handily on all fronts.

Hoover:  Everybody knows those polls are run by the–

Thorngood:  Enough with the Jews! Mr. President, from here on out you need to do exactly what I say. This is why you hired me.

Hoover:  What did you have in mind?

Thorngood:  No one will elect a President if they think he’s weak; be it mentally or, more importantly, physically. There’s a doctor from France currently teaching in Los Angeles, Louis Pasteur, who has invented a new disease that weakens the immune system and can cripple a man. If your opponent were to “catch” this disease, he’d be running for President from a wheelchair. He’d be unelectable.

Hoover:  My goodness, what’s this disease called?

Thorngood:  Polio.

~~~

(In the doctor’s office of Cahoolawassee, New Mexico…)

Max:  Doctor, I feel like a hundred bucks!

Doc:  Well, that’s good; because this medicine costs a hundred bucks.

(Max writes the doctor a check for two hundred dollars…)

Max:  Better prescribe a little extra. We’ve got a bit of a journey before we get to California.

Doc:  Very well.

Rose:  Doctor, out of curiosity, what is this “miracle cure” for Dust Bowl Fever called?

Doc:  Well, here in Cahoolawassee we call it “cocaine”.

~~~

(As the four, including a very wired Max, are trying to find a method of travel in order to reunite with their Okie caravan heading west, a grizzled man on horseback pulls up in front of them…)

Pinkerton:  Gonna need y’all folks to halt right there.

Max:  Whatwhat’sthiswhat’sgoingonwho’sthisguyWHO’STHISGUY.

Rose:  (laying a hand on her shaking fiancee’s shoulder)  Max, calm down.

Woody:  You the sheriff?

Pinkerton:  Nope.  (spits)  I’m Jim Pinkerton, INS. Are you Pepe Alejandro Guadalupe Giuseppe Alonzo Gomez?

Pepe:  Si.

Pinkerton:  Then you, sir, are under arrest.

Woody:  ‘Giuseppe’?

Pepe:  I am part-Italian.

~~~

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