Totally Radical Sportz!

Food Additives – Chapter 7

Posted in erbooker by erbooker on 12/10/2013

HetroChemical Corp.

Larry Tittleman lies his way up the corporate ladder of a global biotech conglomerate and back down again into federal prison…

Chapter 7 – Riot

(The race riot at Jackson State Penitentiary is bubbling over as Tyrone Jackson and Larry Tittleman have barricaded themselves behind overturned tables in the prison cafeteria; chaos breaking out all around them, a fire smoldering in the distance…)

Tyrone:  Hurry up and finish that story about how you got here, Tittleman; because this might be our last day here.

Larry:  (glass bottle whizzes by his head and shatters behind him)  Don’t you think we have more pressing matters to worry about right now, Tyrone?

Tyrone:  Just finish the damn story! I don’t like to leave a story unfinished.

Larry:  Jeez, alright already. You don’t need to cuss.

~~~

“It was the evening of the planned ELF operation and I was in a van with Harmony, Olive and Persimmon who I had just discovered was an NSA agent working undercover with the eco-terrorist organization…”

Harmony:  Everyone knows the drill, right? I plant an ordinance on the north side; Olive plants one on the west side; Persimmon, you and Thistle plant one on the south side and we all meet back here at the van at 0200 for detonation and expulsion.

Olive:  Got it, boss.

(Harmony pulls Persimmon aside…)

Harmony:  I want you to keep an eye on Thistle. I’m not sure I fully trust him, but we need his key-card to get through the gate.

(Persimmon nods as the van comes to a stop…)

Harmony:  Are we ready?

Larry:  (claps hands)  Let’s do some eco-crimes.

~~~

(Larry and Persimmon make their way along the south wall of the top secret lab division, separate from the main facility. Larry keys them in and Persimmon races ahead towards a basement back lab…)

Persimmon:  Lab 13A, this is where the hybrid surveillance bees should be stored.  (she turns to Larry, before opening the door)  You’ve done the NSA and your country a great service tonight, Larry Tittleman.

Larry:  Okay, great. Let’s just get the bees and get out of here. I’m spooked.

(Persimmon opens the door as a blast from the north rocks the building…)

Persimmon:  That must have been Harmony’s ordinance. It’s starting, we’ve gotta move.

Krysten:  Stop right there.

(The NSA/ELF mole and the HetroChemical/ELF mole turn to find Krysten Ratking, head of research, staring at them…)

Larry:  Krysten, what are you doing here? I told you this shit was going down tonight.

Krysten:  I’m sorry, Larry. I’ve been working on these hybrid bees for years. I can’t just let the ELF swoop in and take them.

Larry:  It’s okay, Krysten. Persimmon is NSA. We’re helping our country.

(Another blast from the west rocks the building…)

Persimmon:  That would be Olive’s ordinance.  (thick Eastern European accent)  And about that whole NSA thing? I lied.

Larry:  Uhh, what happened to your voice?

Persimmon:  Long live the Ukraine!

(Persimmon grabs the cage of spy bees, throws down the third ordinance and Larry and Krysten are knocked to the ground by a ball of fire. Krysten manages to pick Larry up and they look around at the approaching flames…)

Larry:  She’s gone.

Krysten:  And now the Ukrainian government has the most advanced espionage technology ever developed by man.

Larry:  I mean, they’re bees. Couldn’t you just bug-spray ’em?

~~~

(Outside, emergency services swarm the HetroChemical campus as Krysten drags a hacking, coughing Larry to safety. HetroChemical CEO Campbell Ulysses and Larry’s secretary Eddie Cornball are waiting with men in FBI jackets…)

Ulysses:  There he is, agents. The ELF ringleader who infiltrated my company and burned this building to the ground.

(The FBI surround an astonished Larry and cuff him…)

Larry:  What!

Ulysses:  My new VP of Product Development here Mr. Cornball was the one who brought all this to my attention.

Larry:  Eddie!

Eddie:  (shrugs)  Sorry, Larry. Job market’s tough right now.

Larry:  Krysten, tell them it ain’t so!

Krysten:  Mr. Ulysses–

Ulysses:  Yes Ms. Ratking, my new President of Research & Development?

Krysten:  Um.

Ulysses:  You know, it’s a lucky thing I recently insured this building so we can build a bigger, better complex just down the road, with the taxpayers’ money of course. Imagine all the great work we can do, my new President and Vice President.

Larry:  Guys!

(Krysten and Eddie stare at the ground and kick rocks…)

Krysten:  Sorry, Larry.

Eddie:  We’ll write.

Larry:  Well, this just sucks!

~~~

Larry:  And that’s how I got in here.

(Back in Jackson State Penitentiary, Larry and Tyrone have made their way down a hallway, the race riot seeming to quiet down…)

Tyrone:  Damn, they did you dirty.

Larry:  Yup. Ruined my life pretty much. I guess the lesson from this whole experience is don’t lie.

Tyrone:  Your life ain’t over, man. You do your time here, get out and you’ve got a chance to start all over again.

Larry:  You know you’re right, Tyrone. Today is the first day of the rest of my li–

(A skinhead runs up behind Larry and shivs him repeatedly in the ribs until Larry drops to the ground and bleeds out…)

Tyrone:  Well, damn.

~~~

(Days after the riot, Tyrone Jackson is settling in with his new cellmate, Jeremy…)

Tyrone:  Well kid, I hope you last longer than my last cellmate. Old boy only made it three days.

Jeremy:  Wow, what was he in for?

Tyrone:  (reclines back on the top bunk with a smile)  Well, that’s actually a funny story.

THE END

~~~

Send all hate mail to ethanrbooker@gmail.com

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