Washington & Madison: Time Travelers – Episode 1.08
Clone George Washington and clone James Madison are traveling through time and space in order to thwart the Illuminati from achieving its goal of the New World Order…
Episode 108 – Meet Me In Belfast
September 1971 – Belfast, Ireland
(George Washington and James Madison plummet out of a swirling blue vortex and into a muddy bog…)
Madison: (wringing out frock sleeves) Why are we always wet?
(George clicks on the time transponder and a disheveled Dr. Thomas Edison VII shows up on screen…)
Washington: Thomas, are you alright?
Edison: Yeah, I’m fine. Kinda just got reamed out by my superiors. They’re not happy with your results.
Madison: It’s the poor carpenter who blames his tools, Edison.
Washington: Quiet, James. We’ll do better, Doctor. I promise.
Edison: Your mission this week is to stop a terrorist in 1970’s Ireland from robbing a church.
Madison: That’s it? Stop a church robbery? I thought that’s what nuns are for.
Edison: The leader of the Irish Republican Army — a Doc O’Grady — is planning on using the stolen funds for Illuminati purposes. The heist is supposed to go down today. Oh, and fellas? Please don’t mess this one up. If you do, it’s my head. (signs 0ff)
Madison: (eyes narrow) Let’s go fry some potato heads. (turns to George) Huh? Huh?
Washington: Pretty good.
(George and James are walking down a foggy Belfast street, when a van pulls up and a man pops his head out of the sliding side door…)
Mick: Oy! There you boys are. Get in! Get in!
(George and James glance at each other and climb into the van. There are there young men in the back, a driver in the front and an older man in the passenger seat, looking over papers…)
O’Grady: Is that them?
Mick: Yeah we’re all here, Doc.
Madison: (elbows George)
O’Grady: Then let’s begin.
Washington: So we’re going to rob a church, then?
Mick: The church robbery thing was just a diversion to get the police focused on the south side of town. We’re heading downtown to deliver a package. (he points at a large wooden crate in the back of the van)
(George and James glance into the crate to find a nuclear warhead. James gulps…)
Madison: That’s one big potato.
(The van full of George, James and the IRA is racing toward downtown Belfast…)
Washington: Pray tell, what exactly are we doing with a nuclear weapon?
O’Grady: Ya know boy, you ask an awful lot of questions. You got a funny accent, too. You don’t happen to be a secret English operative, do you?
Washington: An Englishman? Why, I never! I am a citizen of the great and powerful United States of America.
Madison: Yeah! USA, bitch!
O’Grady: (chuckles) Good to know we’ve got some Yankees on our side.
Washington: Yes. And what exactly is our side planning?
O’Grady: Why it’s quite simple, Mr.–?
O’Grady: It’s quite simple, Mr. Washingson. We’re going to blow up Belfast.
Washington: Blow up Belfast? But this is where you live.
O’Grady: And more of it is being taken away from us everyday by those lousy English Brits. If we can’t have Ireland, no one can!
(The henchmen hoot as George and James exchange pale looks…)
Washington: With all due respect Mr. O’Grady, I hate the English just as much as the next man; but blowing up a city to prove a political point? I just don’t think that’s the right way to go.
Madison: Yeah, why not blow up London instead?
Washington: No, James. Quiet. That’s not– Mr. O’Grady, I think we should all just pause for a second and–
O’Grady: The people of the great city of Belfast will be martyrs today. Their sacrifice will ring in the ears of our children and our childrens’ children and the sound will not die out until all of wretched England is in rubble. Plus, we’re blaming it on the English to start a civil war. Anyhoo, here we are.
(Doc hops out of the van and his henchmen follow. George and James look at each other in silence…)
Madison: I have no more potato jokes.
(George and James step out of the van and Doc O’Grady gets up in their faces…)
O’Grady: Well? Is it ready?
O’Grady: You boys are the bomb technicians. Get that Russian nuke operational, while we keep a look out.
(George and James exchange glances and hop back in the van…)
Madison: (frantic) I don’t know how to operate a nuclear weapon! Do you know how to operate a nuclear weapon?
Washington: (a smile growing across his face) We’re not going to operate a nuclear weapon.
Madison: But Ireland! We have to blow up Ireland!
Washington: We’re going to take it with us.
(George clicks on the time transponder and he, James and the Soviet nuke disappear into a swirling blue portal…)
(Back on Moon Base One in the year 2247, Dr. Thomas Edison VII is joined in the lab by his superior — Grover Cleveland…)
Cleveland: I’m disappointed, Thomas. We all are.
Edison: Yes, sir. Sorry, sir; Mr. Cleveland, sir.
Cleveland: Operation Washington has been a constant disappointment from the very beginning.
Edison: Yes, sir. Sorry, sir.
Cleveland: I’m giving you one last mission to get it right. If not, I’m…exterminating the mission. Do you understand?
Edison: Yes, sir. We’re going to stop the Illuminati in their tracks, sir. You have my word.
Cleveland: (strokes muttonchops) Yes. Because that’s what we want to do, right? Eliminate the Illuminati. (chuckles)
Edison: Uh…yes, sir?
Cleveland: (erupts with evil cackling laughter)
Edison: (stares at his boss quizzically)
(George Washington, James Madison and the Soviet nuke land in a field outside a large city. A group of soldiers in black uniforms with red armbands surround the Presidents and a monocled man steps forward…)
Himmler: Hand over ze bomb, mein freund.