Washington & Madison: Time Travelers – Episode 1.07
Clone George Washington and clone James Madison are traveling through time and space in order to thwart the Illuminati from achieving its goal of the New World Order…
Episode 107 – Nocturnal Fears
July 1947 – Roswell, New Mexico
(A swirling blue vortex opens up in the night sky and George Washington lands in a cattle field, directly on a cow flop…)
Washington: (stands up, wipes rear) Oh, blast it all. (clicks on time transponder) Dr. Edison, are you there?
Edison: (face pops up on screen) I’m here, George. And I’ve been having some discussions with my superiors. They’re disappointed in your progress up to this point.
Washington: I admit we’ve had some flub-ups along the way; but I can only work with what I’ve been given. Perhaps if I were to speak with these superiors–
Edison: Out of the question. What do you mean ‘what you’ve been given’?
Washington: You know what I mean. James.
Edison: Are you and clone Madison having problems? We can always clone another, you know. We’ve greatly improved the personality schematics since you two were developed.
Washington: James means well enough. It’s just at times he can be a bit, well…impossibly childish.
Madison: (clears throat) Yeah? Well, you’re a…buttface.
(George spins to find a cross James Madison standing on the other side of the fence, peeking over the second rung…)
Washington: James, there you are. I’ve been looking all over for you.
Madison: Well didn’t you check the candy store, since I’m such a big impossible child?!
Edison: What’s happening? Hold me up so I can see.
Madison: What’s happening is I quit. Good luck stopping the Illuminati without me. (storms off)
Washington: James, come back. (glares at time transponder) Great, now see what you’ve done?
Edison: What the heck did I do?
Washington: Your criticisms bred a schism!
Edison: Listen, you’re gonna have to get him back if you wanna complete this week’s mission. You’re in 1947 New Mexico and Illuminati operatives are tracking a downed alien craft. They plan to enslave the pilots in order to reverse-engineer all the technology developed in the 20th, 21st, 22nd and 23rd centuries for nefarious means.
Washington: Like cloning and time travel? The aliens developed all that?
Edison: (nods) And George, I would find James and make up with him immediately. Because we can always make another clone Washington as well.
(In a nearby cow pasture, a red vortex opens up and Abraham Lincoln tumbles out bickering on his time transponder with Illuminati leader Grover Cleveland back on the 23rd Century Illuminati Moon base…)
Lincoln: Oh, up your nose with a rubber hose, Grover.
Cleveland: You see? That right there. The constant undermining of authority has been hindering your mission.
Lincoln: What can I say? I’m a bit of a cheeky rebel. (dusts off suit, adjusts stovepipe hat) Oh, look at me. I’m all covered in grass like a bumpkin.
Cleveland: Your mission is simple. Eliminate the George Washington clone. Nothing more. (signs off)
Lincoln: (rolls eyes exaggeratedly) What a crumbum.
(James Madison is trudging through a field, pouting…)
Madison: Stupid George. Dumb jerk. Thinks he’s so cool, ’cause he’s taller than me. (sighs) Ironically, now all I can think about is candy.
Madison: What the.
(James peeks into a bush to find a three-foot greyish-green being about his size, with a large head and eyes and small spindly body…)
Madison: Oh my Goddddddd!
Alien: (takes wary step back)
Madison: So cute!
(James rushes in and hugs the alien, who reluctantly hugs him back…)
Madison: I’m gonna name you Gleep-Glop.
Madison: Yes, Gleep-Glop.
Madison: Okay, that’s getting old now.
(George is wandering through cow pastures after James…)
Washington: James! James, come back!
Lincoln: What’s the matter, sweetie? Lost your boyfriend?
Washington: (spins around) You!
Lincoln: (cocks rifle) Yes, it’s me. Ta da!
Washington: (hands up) Please, I’m unarmed.
Lincoln: Oh boo hoo, you old fruit. Turn around and get on your knees. (muttering to himself) Jeez, if I had a dime for every time I said–
Washington: (on knees, hands behind head) Why are you doing this?
Lincoln: ‘Cause it’s my job, ya ditz.
Washington: Well I have a job too, you know. My boss was just yelling at me about how he’s thinking of replacing me with another clone.
Lincoln: I had a little scrap with my superior, too.
Washington: Don’t you see, Abraham? If you kill me, they’ll just send another one. And another one. It will never end.
Lincoln: Guess you’ve got a point there. Where do you buy your wigs? Do you powder them yourself?
Washington: Perhaps if we could somehow work together, we could stop all this. Travel to some peaceful time and while away the days in solitude.
Lincoln: (lowers rifle) That sounds nice, George. I have always wanted to check out Castro Street. But, you know, 80’s Castro Street; before all the fun got sucked out in the 90’s.
Washington: Why don’t you just lower that rifle and let me go find my friend.
Lincoln: (taps beard) Mmm, I don’t think so. (raises rifle) That Grover can be a real bitch when he’s angry.
(George and Abraham turn to find James and Gleep-Glop on the other side of the fence…)
Madison: You called me your friend!
Washington: Of course I did, James. You are my friend. I’m sorry about what I said earlier. It’s just we’ve been under a lot of stress lately.
Madison: It’s alright, Georgey boy.
Washington: What is that creature?
Madison: This is Gleep-Glop. He’s pretty cool; but he pretty much only says–
Lincoln: Well isn’t this sweet. Get over there with the old man, short-stack. The alien’s coming with me.
(James walks over and kneels next to George. Gleep-Glop warily inches away from Abraham, who points the rifle at him…)
Lincoln: Where do you think you’re going, Greeny?
Madison: (angrily) It’s Gleep-Glop!
Lincoln: Whatever. I don’t have time for this silliness.
(The field fills with bright blue fluorescence and a ray shines over Gleep-Glop and Abe. The alien and the clone assassin begin rising slowly towards a sprawling craft that fills the sky above. George and James stand up and watch as Abraham struggles against the ray…)
Madison: Bye, Gleep-Glop! I love you!
Washington: Think about what I said, Abraham!
Lincoln: Oh nuts to you, grandma!
Madison: Your wig. You look like an old woman. Say, I made that crack about a candy shop earlier and now all I can think about is candy. We’re in New Mexico. Wanna head down to Old Mexico real quick before the next mission? I hear they got the dope candy down there.
Washington: Suits me.
(The two clone Presidents begin walking south down a dirt road and George puts a hand on James’ shoulder…)
Washington: Thanks for coming back for me, friend.
Madison: I’m gonna eat Mexican candy ’til I barf.