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Y’All Don’t Know! with Anthony Mason

Posted in erbooker by erbooker on 08/13/2012

Y’all Don’t Know is an ongoing exploration into all that is sinister, weird, creepy-crawly and loosey-goosey in our world. Did you know that there are mysterious, unexplainable energies whirling all around us as we speak? NO! ‘Cause Y’all Don’t Know!

Episode 4 – FBI

Hello. I’m Anthony Mason and I am not a government employee. The FBI, or Federal Bureau of Inceptions, has been called the greatest criminal organization in the world. Illegal surveillance, embezzlement, assassinations–the FBI has done it all! And if you didn’t know that, then Y’ALL DON’T KNOW!

The FBI wiretaps you, your neighbor, your mother, your father; but not me, because phones are the Devil’s work. Martin Luther King Jr. was sent letters to kill himself. John F. Kennedy was assassinated. J. Edgar Hoover wore a dress. And the FBI was behind it all! Ladyboy Hoover framed noted public citizen Alan Capone for tax evasion, so the IRS could nab him and send him to Azkaban. And all just because he was an Italiano. Shameful.

~~~

My guest today is former FBI agent ████████████.

Mason:  Mr. ████████, thank you for joining us.

█████:  ████████████████████████

Mason:  How long did you work in the FBI?

█████:  ████████████

Mason:  During your time in the FBI, did you participate in any nefarious dealings?

█████:  ████████████████████████████████████████████████

Mason:  Shocking. Do you have anything to say to the families?

█████:  ████████████████████████████████████

Mason:  I only hope they can forgive you.

█████:  ████████████████████████

Mason:  We’ll be right back.

~~~

I’m Montel Williams for Cash 4 Gold. Are you a gold medalist returning to the States in need of cold hard cash? Simply present your gold medal to any Cash 4 Gold retailer and receive upwards of $14 in cold hard cash today.

Cash 4 Gold. ‘Cause you’re probably only gonna win the silver in 2016, anyway.

~~~

And we’re back.

So what did we learn today?

We learned that the Federal Bureau of Inceptions are trying to get into your dreams and steal your thoughts. We learned that your phones are tapped and there’s nothing you can do about it. And we learned that dresses are really comfortable and freeing.

And if you don’t know that, then…

Studio Audience:  Y’ALL! DON’T! KNOW!

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