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Washington & Madison: Time Travelers – Episode 1.02

Posted in erbooker by erbooker on 08/03/2012

Clone George Washington and clone James Madison are traveling through time and space in order to thwart the Illuminati from achieving its goal of the New World Order…

Episode 102 – Futurestuck

August 2169, New York City

(A flash of blue light and a splash over the East River…)

Madison:  (comes up for air, removes space helmet)  Talk about a splash landing, eh George?

(James Madison turns to see an air bubble burp out of the river and remembers George Washington is still unconscious from Abraham Lincoln’s assassination attempt. He dives under the surface and comes up with his arm around the President, dragging him to a nearby dock…)

Madison:  (slaps Washington)  Wake up, George. C’mon, Georgey boy. Don’t you die on me! You missed my ‘splash’ joke.

Washington:  (sputters, spits out water)  What? Where am I?

Madison:  You’re in New York, boss. We made it!

Washington:  What happened? Back on the Moon, I remember–

Madison:  (waves hand)  Oh, one of those jerk Moon Mole Men took a shot at you. See?  (holds up George’s helmet with a gunshot hole through it)

Washington:  My goodness. I’m lucky to be alive.

Madison:  Oh, we all have problems.

Washington:  Why am I all wet?

Madison:  Dr. Edison, the genius, set our coordinates for right above the river.

Washington:  (eyes bulge)  The Doctor. The transponder!

(George fishes into his pocket and pulls out a sopping wet time transponder with a blank screen…)

Washington:  Oh no, we’re ruined! We’re stuck here forever in the not-so-distant future.

Madison:  Easy fix. We just find Dr. Edison and he’ll repair it for us.

Washington:  You ninny, we’re seventy-eight years in the past. Dr. Edison hasn’t even been born yet.

Madison:  (nods, snaps fingers)  But maybe his dad has.

~~~

(The time travelers shed their spacesuits and — after a stop at the public library — arrive at the Edison home on Staten Island. A small boy answers the door and frowns at the oddly-dressed men…)

Washington:  My boy, is Thomas Edison VI home?

Tommy:  I’m Thomas Edison VI. But you can call me Tommy.

Washington:  Oh dear.

Madison:  You know how to fix a time transponder, Tommy?

Washington:  James, please. Son, is your father home?

Tommy:  He’s at work.

Washington:  And where does Mr. Edison work, pray tell?

Tommy:  In Manhattan. He’s a scientist for the Pelican Group.

Washington:  (smiles at James)  A scientist, you say?

Tommy:  I can take you there, if you like.  (heads toward the garage)  You’ll have to share my sister’s bike, though.

~~~

(Little Tommy Edison VI is racing across the bridge into Manhattan on his ten-speed with George Washington and James Madison in tow; James on the handlebars, while George pedals…)

Madison:  These handlebars are really ridin’ into my ass.

Washington:  James! Not in front of the boy.

Tommy:  It’s okay. I’ve heard my dad say worse when he’s doing his experiments.

Washington:  What does your father do for this Pelican Group?

Tommy:  He works in the cloning department.

Madison:  (glances back at George)

Washington:  Cloning, you say?

Tommy:  Yeah, you know. Human cloning. What, you guys never heard of that?

Washington:  No, we’ve heard of it. We’ve heard of it.

(Washington, Madison and little Tommy Edison stop to see a mob of people screaming and sprinting across the bridge in the other direction…)

Madison:  (hollering at passerby)  What’s all the hubbub, bub?

Fleeing Citizen:  They’re coming!  (sprints away wildly)

Madison:  Huh. Wonder what they’re on about.

(A half-hour of pedaling through fleeing crowds later and the three are in downtown Manhattan at the foot of a monolithic shining black skyscraper…)

Tommy:  Here’s my dad’s place; the Pelican Group. I’ll get us in. He gave me a badge.

(The lobby security guards wave Tommy and the time travelers through after Tommy flashes his badge; but not before giving the former Presidents a queer look as they pass by in their thick frock coats and powdered wigs. Upstairs, the three enter a secure laboratory and Tommy runs to hug his father…)

Edison:  Son, what are you doing here with these gentlemen? I told you not to come into the city today.

Washington:  (holding out his hand)  Sir, my name is George. I’m a friend of your grandson’s.

Edison:  (chuckles nervously)  Grandson? Tommy’s been busy, eh?

Washington:  Allow me to explain.

Madison:  Hoo boy, this is gonna take a while. I’m gonna go get a soda. You want a soda, kid?

Tommy:  Sure.

~~~

(After an hour of exhaustive explanation, Dr. Thomas Edison V smiles…)

Edison:  So my grandson invented time travel, huh?

Washington:  Yes. And unfortunately our only link to that wonderful scientific discovery is the busted device you hold in your hand there.

Edison:  (turns over time transponder)  Did you check the batteries?

Washington:  The batteries? Do you speak of ammunition? We are unfortunately unarmed.

Madison:  (smacks forehead)  I knew it was the batteries!  (chugs sixth soda)

(Dr. Edison pops open the battery lid and a couple D-cells tumble out…)

Edison:  I’ll get you some fresh ones.  (exits lab)

Washington:  Well, that was easy enough.

(George hears screaming outside and heads over to the window to find the streets below filled with hordes of violent brawling and blood-curdling screams…)

Washington:  Good lord! An all-out riot!

Madison:  (peeks over windowsill on tippy-toes)  Doesn’t seem that funny to me.

(Tommy turns a television to a local news report…)

Reporter:  This is Jim Lampley reporting live from Times Square where it is absolute bedlam. As you can see behind me, there is looting and rioting going on and people are being violently attacked and reportedly eat–

(The reporter is overtaken by numerous individuals who begin consuming him on live television…)

Washington:  My God.

Madison:  They’re–

Edison:  Zombies.

(James and George turn to find Dr. Edison V smiling and holding the time transponder…)

Edison:  They were my own creation. Quite proud of it, actually. An army of the dead; being led by the greatest General the world has ever seen.

Washington:  (cross)  I will not lead an army of the dea–

Edison:  –Gen. Robert E. Lee.

Washington:  Oh.

Madison:  Never heard of him.

(In the streets below, Gen. Lee is standing atop a wagon, surveying his army of the dead…)

Lee:  That’s it, men! Now flank to the right. Or…just…keep eating everybody. Whatever.

(Back in the lab…)

Washington:  But why?

Edison:  Because the end is near, President Washington. The prophecies have foretold of a coming cleansing. A cleaning of the slate. Tabula rasa.

Tommy:  Daddy, you’re scaring me.

Madison:  Yeah you’re scaring me too, daddy.

Washington:  So you’re working for them; the Illuminati.

Edison:  I made them, Mr. President. I brought them back.

Lincoln:  And a heckuva job you did, Professor.

(Dr. Edison turns to find Abraham Lincoln’s clone pointing a rifle at his back…)

Edison:  Abraham Lincoln.

Lincoln:  You’re darn tootin’. Now gimme that transponder.

Washington:  No, Doctor. Give us the transponder.  (grabs nearby scalpel and holds it to Tommy’s neck)  Or your son is no more.

Edison:  You wouldn’t!

Madison:  Careful there, Georgey boy. You slice that tyke’s neck and his son never exists and therefore neither do we…I think.

Washington:  A risk I’m willing to take.

Lincoln:  C’mon, four-eyes. Gimme the transponder. We’re on the same side here. You can always clone another son.

(Edison glances balefully at Gen. Washington, tosses him the transponder and tackles Lincoln to the ground. Lincoln drops the rifle and it fires wildly. Lil’ Tommy Edison picks it up as zombies pile into the lab…)

Washington:  (clicks on transponder)

Edison:  (pops up on screen)  There you guys are. Now here’s how you stop my grandfather from releasing the zombie hordes.

Madison:  Little late for that, Doc!

Edison:  Oh.

Washington:  It would’ve been nice to have been informed of all this earlier, Doctor.

Edison:  My bad. Well, we’ll scrap that plan for the time being. I’m sending you some new coordinates.

Madison:  Make sure it’s on land this time, hot shot.

(A swirling blue vortex opens up in the lab and George glances back at little Tommy with his rifle, as his father and Lincoln are descended upon by zombies…)

Washington:  Come here, boy. We can protect you.

Madison:  We’re babysitters now?

Tommy:  It’s alright, Mr. President.  (cocks rifle)  I can protect myself.

(Tommy starts blasting off zombie heads as Washington and Madison leap through time…)

~~~

(George and James land with a thump on the deck of a large ship in the pitch black of night, stand up and collect their bearings…)

Madison:  Drier landing, at least. Where the heck are we now?

Washington:  Damned if I know.

(The ship moves along through the dark Atlantic waters and the men look on apprehensively as below them on the side of the hull the ship is emblazoned with the word, “Titanic“…)

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