Totally Radical Sportz!

Y’All Don’t Know! with Anthony Mason

Posted in erbooker by erbooker on 06/18/2012

Y’all Don’t Know is an ongoing exploration into all that is sinister, weird, creepy-crawly and loosey-goosey in our world. Did you know that there are mysterious, unexplainable energies whirling all around us as we speak? NO! ‘Cause Y’all Don’t Know!

Episode 3 – Music Industry

Hello. I’m Anthony Mason and I love tunes and jams. But is there a nefarious side to the jams and licks we love? Is the music industry up to no good?

Yes!

And if you didn’t know that, then Y’ALL DON’T KNOW!

~~~

From the assassinations of Jiminy Hendricks and Curt Kobang to the brainwashing methods of subliminal messages; the music industry has machinations to undermine our nation’s youth.

From Elvis Presley’s herky-jerky hips to Miley Cyrus Sr.’s achey-breaky heart; the raw sexuality of music personalities has shocked and terrorized our nation’s moral base. The promotion of psychedelic drug use and promiscuous sex by 1960’s musicians like Dylan Thomas led to the Vietnam War. Black Sabbath’s lyrics inspired President Richard Nixon to commit crimes he otherwise would never have committed. It’s been said that the rock music played by a Secret Service agent in the Presidential limo on a routine trip to Texas was so loud it blew out the back of Jack Kennedy’s head. When reached for comment, a Sony music executive yelled “Rock on!” and head-banged right in my face. Disrespectful.

The Beatles were known to employ a technique known as “back-masking” in their songs, where they interlaced hidden Satanical messages in their songs which can be heard if the record was played backwards. When hit single “She Loves You” is reversed, the chilling message “I am a devil walrus” is revealed. Disturbing.

~~~

Our guest today is famed musician Sammy Davis Jr….

Mason:  Mr. Davis, thank you for appearing on the show.

Davis:  [exhumed corpse]

Mason:  Are you a part of the musical-industrial complex?

Davis:  [circled by flies]

Mason:  Do you promote drug use, illicit sex and Satanic rituals amongst the nation’s youth?

Davis:  [blank stare, slight odor]

Mason:  Why are you dodging my line of questioning, Mr. Davis?

Davis:  [is stiff corpse]

Mason:  (eyes narrow)  You win this round, Sammy. You win this round. We’ll be right back.

~~~

This summer, the Rat Pack is back! Two young crooners find themselves in a sticky situation when they’re stuck in their Las Vegas penthouse with everyone’s favorite dead black Jewish artist during a rocking Fourth of July bash.

“His glass eye fell in the punch bowl!”

Michael Bublé and Robin Thicke co-star with the exhumed corpse of Sammy Davis, Jr. in “Weekend at Sammy’s”.

It’s wacky because he’s dead!

~~~

And we’re back.

We learned a lot today. We learned that rock musicians have potty mouths and want to warp the minds of our children. We learned that Sammy Davis Jr. is remaining mum when it comes to this particular controversy. And we learned that The Beatles were all secretly Satanic walruses. Still made some great tunes, though. Love me do!

And if you didn’t know any of that, then…

Studio Audience: Y’ALL! DON’T! KNOW!

Advertisements

Comments Off on Y’All Don’t Know! with Anthony Mason

%d bloggers like this: