Totally Radical Sportz!

Smackfest.

Posted in erbooker by erbooker on 10/11/2010

Just couldn’t help myself..


Godsmack festival brings thousands to Bangor to close out the Waterfront Concert Series

The Waterfront Concert Series:

On Friday evening, join us for a rousing rendition of Bach’s 5th Symphony by the Penobscot County Philharmonic. On Saturday, dinner and dancing with the Hampden Barbershop Quartet. And on Sunday, GODSMACKGODSMACKGODSMACK! SACRIFICE YOUR CHILDREN TO SATAN AND DANCE IN THE FIRE OF HELL!

/head spins forever

Growling vocals,

Like the ravenous howls of Cerberus, himself!

heavy guitar riffs,

Well if they bought lighter guitars, they could riff better.

mosh pits and long, headbangingworthy

[sic]

Also, [sick]!

metal hair was in abundance at the first-ever Smackfest, held all day Sunday on the Bangor Waterfront.

Just think of all the disappointed heroin junkies that showed up on the waterfront Sunday afternoon.

“That’s false advertiszzzzzzzzzzz..”

The last in the Hollywood Slots Waterfront Concert Series,

Say, you know who’s got a lot of free money to spend wildly? Mainers!

the show was also the first all-day festival in the series, bringing approximately 10,000 fans of all things metal to the concert grounds.

Give or take 9,856.

Headliner Godsmack

[sic]?

took to the stage just before 9 p.m., preceded by a video montage detailing the long history of censorship heavy metal has undergone over the past decades.

If there’s one thing metal fans love, one thing that can keep their meth-addled attention spans for more than a minute or two, it’s HISTORICAL VIDEO MONTAGES.

/headbangs to What To Do On A Date

Drummer Shannon Larkin’s kit was enclosed inside a glowing red half-moon, which rotated to reveal the drummer.

LIKE THE THRONE OF SATAN.

Lead singer Sully Erna,

FACTOID: Godsmack is from Lawrence, Massachusetts.

guitarist Tony Rombola and bassist Robbie Merrill performed to a capacity crowd, which had been waiting all day to see their rock heroes.

Saddest all-day wait in the history of all-day waits.

The band’s blend of metal,

80’s.

alternative

90’s.

and grunge

Northwest 90’s.

has been wildly popular with rock fans for more than 10 years, from their multiplatinum, self-titled debut up to their most recent album, “The Oracle,” released just this year.

Starring Caroline Capers Powers!

Before Godsmack, fellow headliners and Maine band Dead Season

Which is a pun on….Bed Season? Lead Season? Jed-Pleasin’?

performed at 6 p.m., playing their technical, intense style of metal. Drowning Pool, a long-running alternative metal band, was up next, followed by the melodic metal of Five Finger Death Punch,

I liked them better when they were Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique.

a supergroup of sorts

In that they’re not at all.

that features former members of the bands W.A.S.P.

!

and BulletBoys.

They must get into so many arguments with so many Kinko’s employees.

“No space in BulletBoys! No space at all!”

Rebecca Hayward, 21, of Clifton and Megan Fizell, 26, of Brewer had been waiting all summer to attend the concert.

And their coworkers at TJ Maxx Plus are gonna hear ALL about it this week.

“Godsmack are one of my favorite bands,” said Fizell.

When dealing with Godsmack, you ALWAYS speak in the third person plural tense. Out of respect for the God-smacking.

“I saw them way back in 2005, when I was going to Army medic school in San Antonio.

This woman is a doctor.

When I heard they were coming to Maine, I was like, ‘Oh my God, yes.’”

“Oh my God, yes. I’m totally gonna hang backstage and blow Tony Rombola!”

Hayward also attended the Oxxfest concert, held during the summer in Wiscasset, which had a similar setup to Smackfest.

Buncha jerky booths and a date-rape tent.

“I like seeing all the local bands,” she said. “And I like [Smackfest] better than Oxxfest, because it’s a lot cooler out. It was too hot for that show.

You know what they say: If you can’t take the heat, get out of the Oxxfest.

This is perfect. And it’s right near where I live.”

“So I can stumble home drunk on Kahlua instead of having to hitch a ride in the back of the pickup truck of some grabby automotive mechanic from Old Town.”

While some stayed put on-site, others waited until later in the day to get to the show, and attended a meet and greet with Godsmack’s Erna and Larkin, held from 4 to 5 p.m. at concert sponsor Mark’s Music in Brewer.

Hey, that’s where I bought my clarinet in middle school!

NOT METAL.

More than 300 fans carrying everything from drumsticks to drumheads,

And everything in between! Which would be drums, I s’pose.

Kevin Erickson was first in line.

He gets the Mark’s Music Sad Metal Virgin Medal and Commemorative Plaque! Congratulations, Kevin!

“I got here at noon and there was nobody else in line, so we were psyched,” said the Godsmack fan and New York native.

In Metalspeak, “psyched” means “thoroughly embarrassed”.

“I’ve been a fan for 10 years. They helped me through a lot of tough times in my life with their music.”

“Like the time everybody made fun of me for being first in line at a Godsmack meet and greet.

Erickson and his wife, Dawn Bubar,

BUBAR!

Sunday’s show was Bubar’s first Godsmack concert.

A Bubar First!

“He got me into Godsmack when we first got together,” she said. “He preached it like it was the Bible and now I’ve been converted.”

Lowered Expectations®.

Elizabeth Mikotowicz, an Illinois native now living in Bangor, arrived at 3:30 and was last in line, but that was fine with her.

“At least I’m not a lame-o like that Kevin Erickson douche!”

“I’m more a Five Finger Death Punch fan,

Who isn’t?

but I like Godsmack’s new song and I love Drowning Pool, too,” she said.

Ya hear that Drowning Pool? You’re cool, too. Fret not.

Though around 2,000 to 3,000 metal fans were in attendance for the first few hours of the festival, by 4 p.m. more than 6,000 had flooded the gates, and even more were steadily coming in.

“Hey! Check this out! Free smack!”

“I didn’t go to any of the other concerts they had here. They were too slow. This one is fast,” said Bryton Allen, 15, of Belfast. “I wanted to go see Dead Season when they played in Belfast last summer, but I wasn’t 21. This time, I’m in.”

“Because this time I am 21,” winked Bryton Allen, 15, of Belfast.

The first Maine band, the Portland-based Fifth Freedom,

The fifth freedom is ROCK!

started playing at 11 a.m. They were followed by 13 other bands, including Lewiston’s Beyond the Fall,

Formerly known as Winter.

Orono’s These October Skies,

A seasonal band.

Newport’s A Days Confession

Apostrophes are NOT metal.

and Waterville’s Afterblack. Starting at 1 p.m., bands began performing slightly longer sets, including music from Southwest Harbor’s Salvo,

Were they the opening band? lolololololmetalol

Darkside Out from Calais,

“You put your Darkside in, you put your Darkside out..”

Savior Serpent of Old Town,

What if Jesus was a snake, man?

Uncle Jack of Lewiston and Lie Still Sufferer of Palmyra.

Okay, that’s officially the creepiest band name ever. I knew there was a reason I never visited Palmyra.

Forty-minute sets from In the Kingdom of Nightmares of Milo,

Thou shalt not enter into the Kingdom of Nightmares until thou answereth me these riddles three!”

/leaves Kingdom of Nightmares

/enters Kingdom of Wet Dreams

Shallow Path of Calais, Waldo County’s A Constant Battle and longtime Bangor rockers Nobis closed out the afternoon.

Nobis? I would’ve gone with Bubar.

“I’m here to support In the Kingdom of Nightmares. I’ve been a fan of theirs ever since their old band, Tomorrow’s Tragedy,” said Chris Moran, 21, of Houlton.

All of this is my favorite sentence ever. I wanna frame it, build a mantle and hang it over that mantle.

“I was in my very first mosh pit at one of their shows.

“I groped so many tits that night. Some of them were girl tits!”

“I’m a huge Five Finger Death Punch fan. I got a tattoo of them,” said Moran’s friend Charles Long, also 21 and of Houlton, who has an FFDP design on his right arm.

Some tattoo removal technician in Houlton’s mouth is watering right now.

“I think the fact that big bands come to Bangor is just awesome,” said Moran. “I don’t have to drive to Portland now. It’s great.”

Seriously. Portland sucks.

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