Episode 2 – “The King”
(Pico & Miguel are walking to the local Home Depot early Wednesday morning..)
Pico: Another day, another peso.
Miguel: (rolls his eyes) Good one, Pico.
Pico: What’s got your chalupa in a knot, Miguel?
Miguel: I dunno. I’m just not sure how much more of this landscaping I can take. We just stand here outside the Home Depot and hope somebody shows up.
Pico: Yeah, but sometimes we meet famous people. Eet’s fun!
Miguel: I’m just tired of the same old grind.
Pico: Remember that MTV show? The Grind?
(A 1969 Cadillac pulls up and the window rolls down..)
King: You two, come with me.
Miguel: Elvis is dead, you idiot.
King: (smirks) I get that all the time. The name’s King. Edgar King.
Pico: (whispering excitedly) Keeng! He’s The Keeng!
Miguel: Shush. This is a great car, Mr. King.
(Edgar King’s Cadillac pulls up outside his West Hollywood estate..)
King: Here we are, fellas. I was thinkin’ we could just trim these hedges a little. Make it all pretty-like.
Pico: Sure thing, The Keeng! (excitedly runs with hedge-trimmers)
Miguel: Sorry about Pico, Mr. King. He actually thinks you’re Elvis Presley.
King: Hehe, he’s a good kid. (does that Elvis double-point thing) I’m gonna get y’all some lemonade!
Miguel: Thanks, Mr. King! (shoves Pico) Will ya cut it out with the Elvis stuff? Elvis is dead!
Pico: Fuck joo. That’s Elveese.
Miguel: First of all, fuck you. And second of all, no.
King: Y’all like the house?
Miguel: (feigning excitement) Yeah! Sure is…purple.
Pico: (rubbing the outer wall) Is this velveet?
King: (nodding) Crushed. Lemonade?
Pico: Thanks Elv-er, Edgar.
King: (smiles) Where you boys from anyway, Mexico?
Miguel: El Salvador.
King: Yeah, I did some shows down Old Mexico Way, back in the day.
Pico: (grinning at Miguel) Shows? Like concerts?
King: Car shows. I’m a collector. That Cadillac we came here in is my pride & joy.
Miguel: She’s a beaut.
Pico: You have any pets, Mr. Keeng? A hounddog, perhaps?
King: Nope, no animals. I’m allergic.
Miguel: (glares at Pico)
Pico: Those are nice shoes. Are they suede?
King: They’re Reeboks.
Miguel: (elbows Pico hard in the ribs)
Pico: Do you wear sunglasses at night?
King: (chuckles) How could I see?
Miguel: That’s Corey Hart, you moron! Mr. Presl–King, I apologize for my friend. He fought in the Civil War for many years, took a couple mortars to the head.
King: You boys are alright. You wanna hear a secret?
Pico: (jumping up & down, clapping hands) Si! Si!
King: I am Elvis Presley!
Pico: (hits Miguel hard in the back of the head) I knew eet!
Miguel: Ow! What?
King: Yeah! I’m Elvis! And I’m from space!
Pico: (dialing phone) I’m gonna call Rossana–wait, what?
King: I’m a space alien! Why do you think I was such a great singer? My vocal cords are far more developed than the average human’s.
King: The Bermuda Triangle? That was me.
Pico: (hangs up phone)
Miguel: I don’t know what that means.
King: Do you wanna see my spaceship?
Pico: If he pulls out his deeck, I’m out of here.
Miguel: Listen, Mr. King–
King: Elvis. Call me Elvis!
Miguel: Right. Um, we’ve actually got another job on the other side of town, so we should probably get going.
King: Do you wanna hear my new song?
Miguel: Absolutely. But we really should be go–
King: ♫ Oh, the Space Bear is on the seventh moon of Marrrrrrs! ♫
Pico: (whispering) Let’s get out of here!
King: ♫ And the Wars of the Avalon Spirits are in the starrrrrs! ♫
(Pico & Miguel shuffle off the lawn and down the street towards the nearest bus stop..)
King: Dang! I didn’t even get to the chorus! (eats deep-fried banana peanut butter sandwich)
(Thursday morning, Pico & Miguel are standing outside Home Depot, ready for another day of work..)
Pico: What if that really was Elvis yesterday, Miguel?
Miguel: He did have a pretty good voice.. But no, he’s dead. It’s impossible.
Pico: (quietly singing) ♫ Space Bear’s on the hemisphere of Marrrs.. ♫
Miguel: (quietly joining in) ♫ And wars and spirits and something are in the starrrs.. ♫
Pico & Miguel: (belting it out) ♫ But you know, girl, that our Space Love will always be ourrrrrrrrrrs! ♫
Alberto: (wanders over) Joo guys seengeeng dat new Corey Hart song?